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Wisdom From Within

YOGA - AN INNER JOURNEY

12/26/2015

 
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London, 2001. Living in a flat in Elephant and Castle with the most amazing view to the London Eye on the Thames, all the way up to St.Paul's Cathedral, for a while I used to wake up every morning with a few rounds of Suria Namaskar or the Sun Salutation, courtesy of my flatmate who had been practising asana for some time. This was the first time in my early twenties when yoga crossed my path.

After a while I wasn't living there any more and my interest in shamanism took over and I didn't follow through with yoga – apart from the occasional yoga class with a friend few times a year.  

Until now. Prior to my birthday this year, my partner, Gammadian and I were in Rishikesh leading one of our retreats in Recapitultion. Rishikesh is a very special place, not just because people say it is, but because it was chosen by the Rishis (sages) a long long time ago as a place of high vibration where silence happens effortlessly and naturally.
Gammadian himself stayed there for over 15 years when he first got to India as a teenager in the '70s. Many others did too. It has this captivating effect on you. Once you get there, the place enchants you. Meditation is easy in Rishikesh. Silence is home.

So, after our retreat we were planning on spending some more time in the mountains before we hit the beaches in Goa. As my birthday was coming, I thought what a lovely place for my birthday in the skirts of the Himalayas. I was born in the mountains in Bulgaria so I've always had a soft spot for them.  

Yes, and then Gammadian decides to present me, for my birthday of course, with a one month Yoga Teacher's Training. Yes, in Rishikesh. With our lovely host for the recapitulation retreat – Chandra Yoga International!

My first thoughts were, wow! Waking up every morning before 6am for pranayama and meditation doesn't appeal to me that much. I love my sleep!
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And I haven't really been practising yoga that much, aren't you supposed to have been practising like all your life to want to become a yoga teacher? I know Gammadian has and he was a yoga teacher! So then he explains that yoga, just like shamanism, actually helps one find a union, their inner seer and eventually can lead to a knowledge of eternity. And I was in!  
One month into the yoga journey, I developed strength in muscles I didn't know I had! And it was intense yes, but also fun and very enjoyable for me. The beautiful beings on the course made it even more fun and I realised that shamanism and yoga can walk hand in hand in my life complementing each other in amazing ways.  

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At the end of the course as I was already picturing myself lounging on a sun bed on the Goan beaches, our yogi instructors at the course, Dr.Sushil and Rachel, asked Gammadian and I to stay for an intern-ship and teach pranayama, meditation and philosophy.
​We readily agreed for we have found out that Chandra Yoga is a place of growing and evolving where teachers learn just a
s much, if not more, than their students.  

The following four weeks were a time for great learning and sharing for both of us and for everyone on the course. The students were all extremely dedicated, very open and driven. We found deep understanding and appreciation in them for all the practices and teachings that were presented. It was a magical coof.  mbination of energy, skill and talent that brought to fruition everyone's personal transformation. Such a delight to witness and be a part 
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Now, with all of it behind me, I feel content and abundant. It feels like there is more of it to come: more opportunities, more interactions, more inspiration, more power to be claimed in terms of self-knowledge.
​What an expansive life we all live. Let's share it, in love and light. Thank you, Spirit! Namaste!  

Quan Yin - Goddess of Compassion

6/17/2015

 
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It was dawn I was sat on the beach in Koh Pangang, Thailand. As I opened my eyes I saw a Nordic looking, blonde haired woman. She asked me about my breatharian practice. I explained that i knew nothing of the practice, that I had been using a practice given to me in dreaming.
As it happened, she was actually living in the next room to me. In the evening she talked to me about her travels. She told me something incredible had happened to her in Bali, she had met a shape-shifter and since then her whole world had shifted.
I was fascinated by her story and elicited all the details to meet this woman. Jeru Arju had been a young successful clothes designer and had her own fashion shop, frequented by travellers to Bali.
Her health deteriorated and reluctantly she took to her bed. The doctor came everyday with medicines and treatments. However the fever intensified and it seemed as if she would die.

In one of her high fevers, the goddess Quan Yin came to Jeru Arju and told her, who she was and that she had called her for a reason. Quan Yin explained that she would die unless she stopped taking the Dr’s medicines and fasted for forty days. 

Her family tried to have her sectioned when she told them. Yet, resolute in her decision to obey the goddess, she locked herself in her room. Near death she spent forty days communing with the goddess.

Quan Yin empowered Jeru Arju to shape-shift into various beings and instructed her minutely in ritual practices and how she could carry out Quan Yin’s work.
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After forty days she awoke healed and ready to carry out the work of the goddess. Although she had doubted that she was suitable or could be successful doing this, she has been highly successful in doing what the goddess commanded.
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​I had received an e-mail address from the Nordic looking woman. However, I had received no reply. I also wrote to Balinese people I knew but received no reply. Yet I intended that something would shift. I was thinking of going anyway but the prices were too high to fly.

​After a month I received two e-mails on the same day, telling me to come. If the price remained so prohibitive I still couldn't go, but I went to trawl through the travel agents around town. I was fortuitous to get an indirect flight that was affordable.

My time and finances were limited. My connection when I arrived didn't answer my e-mails or my phone calls. One day fortuitously I was in an office and I heard someone say his name. I turned and told him I had been in Bali for three weeks looking for him. He apologized pleading commitments but gave me another number to call him the next day. After several more days he introduced me to a Balinese mask-carver who regularly met Jeru Arju.


He told me when next she did a ritual he would take me. I was ill that day with my stomach and wasn't looking forward to a four hour ride on the back of a motorcycle into the mountains. Yet I longed to see this personification of the goddess.
The nature of Bali is beautiful. Though by bike it was a little uncomfortable I was entranced by the flowering jungle. The compound where I met Jeru Arju was ​immaculately gardened. Jeru Arju is an ageless looking very beautiful unassuming woman.
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She apologized for not speaking English and thanked our translator. Everything was light and beautiful and I felt distinctly welcome. We all ate together.
Everything was really low key. We chatted through an interpreter. Balinese coffee corn and sweetmeats were brought and we sat at a low table.

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As dusk came she beckoned me into the shrine where Quan Yin would manifest. Jeru Arju blessed us with water then as we sat at the shrine she said some prayers. There was beautiful Chinese music playing. We had carried our offerings in. 
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A young yellow coconut was offered and then we went outside and did a cleansing ritual to banish negative energy, where we washed in coconut water and then drank three times.
We went back in, the shrine was to our left but we faced NE and sat in the stone courtyard.
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She sang to us along with the music and encouraged us to sit with straight backs. She adjusted me several times until she was satisfied.
While seated she took us into dreaming. I was in a sacred garden - a garden of delight. The incredible beauty, silence and nurturing that was palpable in the physical garden was intensified. 

​The geometric carvings in the garden were also in the dream. Quan Yin appeared as the most beautiful young woman. I was entranced. She danced around me and at one time surrounded me with many of her that circled me.
I opened my eyes and my companion was standing. We then went to the shrine. 

This was so beautiful: red and gold with flowers, orchids and lotuses, many statues and pictures of Deities, Buddhas and Shiva, who I am aligned with by nature.

We did a ritual with incense and water and went into meditation first for Quan Yin, Buddha and Shiva and then for the South Ocean Goddess.

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Leaving, I felt empowered. I would never forget this connection with Quan Yin and the vessel of her appearance. From this time onwards I had many dreams with Quan Yin, infused with elegance, kindness, healing and power. I started writing about my ​experiences in a dream diary. Jeru Arju gave me her and Quan Yin’s permission to use this energy for healing.
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Ena, my partner, had been feeling off and asked me if I would give her a healing session. During the healing session I took Ena into my dream of the goddess. ​

After Ena told me I shouldn't guide her towards a Chinese goddess, she felt reactive about the experience.
I replied that this energy appeared to humans in form that could be recognized for easier alignment. She was insistently unconvinced though.

​The next morning Ena awoke and immediately apologized to me. She said that Quan Yin had visited her in a lucid dream and resolved her issues and healed her. Ena’s dream experience took place in the magical garden temple of Quan Yin, just like mine.

 I was really glad that she too could align with this connection that had been forged in me.
From then on I started using these Quan Yin dreams with clients to great success. I decided to include it in Open Wing’s Colombian Workshop. ​

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Whilst preparing for the workshop I was approached by some musicians who said they would provide music for free workshop entry. It was only a few weeks before the workshop and I knew it would take a lot of preparation but said I would meet them on Skype.

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As soon as I saw them, I knew I could work with them. Together we effortlessly worked through all the forms and guided meditations. At the workshop they were so good, that we decided to record the meditations, so a wider number of people could connect with this empowerment and healing.

A big thank you to Maria Lucia Luna and her partner Rodrigo and their friend Diego for their impeccable work and intent.  
The recordings are available on our website and have an effect that few could duplicate in their own practice. 
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I have been fortunate to deliver something magical. Something divine shines through these recordings. Feel free to download them and experience for yourself.

Affection,
Gammadian

​

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Listen To Quan Yin Meditation on Insight Timer (FREE)

GAMMADIAN'S STORY OF RECAPITULATION

4/22/2015

 
I like to share a story with you about recapitulation and dreaming. After meeting and becoming the Energy Body, I began to take a pivotal role in the Castaneda community, putting on workshops with the apprentices of Carlos Castaneda and other bodies and my own workshops all over the world on various topics to do with Toltec Knowledge. Of these the recapitulation retreats became my favourite because of an incredible experience I had.
A large amount of my time was devoted both to Sorcery Passes, Stalking and Dreaming. Still though in my stalking of my childhood I was only finding acrimonious scenes. Me being beaten for what I'd done or hadn't done. I'd constantly run away all my life but at 16 left for good.

I decided to gather a weekly group and make recapitulation our endeavour. Over and over I pulled 
out incidents firstly that I knew about and then many that had remained hidden to me because of my sheer childhood terror. I breathed through these as Carlos had taught. I found that I was developing a fluidity detachment and often indifference to situations that would have once riled me.
However I was still inundated by heavy experiences in my explorations. My dreaming at this time was phenomenal. 

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I was lucid all night and went through several of the gates until spending my time in the world of the inorganic beings where I was fascinated. I visited many other worlds and had endless adventures in time and space. 

One night I had been in the world of the dead. It was like a biblical vision of purgatory or similar. People seemed crazed and lost, near zombie-like endlessly repeating useless words or actions. To my horror I found my father, I awoke him from his stupor. 
He asked me what was happening, he said "I am ill, something has happened. He'd actually died in a lot of pain from a stroke.. I told him who I was and that he was dead and that he should head toward a thin band of light on the horizon above. I told him I would return.
I also went speedily towards like dawn's light. It was some kind of heaven, but I wasn't taking much notice as I wanted to find my mother. I finally came out into this beautiful serene place. My mother was lying there with her eyes closed, bathed in a luminescence.

She looked so at peace, but I was so pissed at her. I asked her why I'd had to spend so much of my childhood black and blue just because I was energetic and wild? "What made you think you had the right to beat me, often for things my sisters did?" She became awake but had no concern for my feelings.
I became highly irate and changed into a bear. I roared at her. I grabbed her from her repose and tore at her body. I ripped her apart. Yet she reformed into her peaceful repose. Many times I roared and clawed until she was no more but I couldn't destroy her.
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She said to me "your concerns are no longer mine, I have made my peace with my actions. I recommend you do the same thing."

"Maybe you have no Earthly concerns but your husband who you swore undying love for is in a terrible state in a realm below. I am not sure how to bring him here." I said.

"It will be done, together we will bring him. Return to where he is and escort him I will lend assistance."
I returned willing myself to find him in that vastly unpleasant realm. My father had actually made some progress he was nearer and his zombie like state seemed to have rescinded, even more. I told him I had found his wife and that we were going there.

After some while I brought him to the realm of my mother. I was fatigued and I left them to their reunion, as the dream dissolved. 

I was a little bemused at both finding my parents and to find them in realms that didn't reflect their beliefs nor mine either. Also I couldn't believe I had endlessly attacked my mother. Most of all though I was amazed that my mother had ended up in a heaven, and I had to rethink my judgements of her.

We continued with regular recapitulations, however the current had changed. There was a new lightness. 

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Now I started to remember all the good times we had together. The times she pulled me out of school, to spend the day on the beach, swimming, sun bathing, drinking wine or beer. The way she looked after us, always baked our bread and cakes, cut our hair, made our clothes and always sang when happy. Most of all though I was able to remember how she read to me every night and the delight she had given me in literature. 
I suddenly saw how my predilections had been driven by an eclectic mix of writings, fairy tales from all over Europe, Celtic ballads and tales, classical and Sufi poets, Hiawatha about the American Indians, the Psalms of David and the words of Solomon, to mention a few.

So many fine memories long kept at bay by my hurts were released. 

Instead of my recapitulation being an arduous task, I was recapitulating these incredible beings from my life that had been disguised by the roles I had hastily assigned them out of protection.

I saw the play of intents and the thread of energy that I had 
followed  throughout my life and gave thanks for all the beings that 
had assisted me. My world had irrevocably changed. 
From this time I set my intent to encourage as many people as possible to enter into this journey of recapitulation, to discover the wonder of their life. 

Since in dreaming I have made my peace with and expressed my gratitude to my parents.
I offer this to you also. 
Ena, my partner, and I are putting on another Recapitulation Retreat from 1st till 7th October in Rishikesh India. 
Click on the button below to read more about it and to register.


india retreat

WE ARE DREAMERS IN THE NOW

4/2/2015

 
Being a vivid lucid dreamer by nature, Gammadian often receives powerful messages in his dreams. This is one such dream, which we would like to share with the world so it may inspire all of us on our quest for freedom.

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‘’I was walking along the road in Kensington, it was evening yet I had no sense of continuity. I had so much energy and clarity; I knew I was dreaming, not sure whether I was awake or asleep.
I bounded up from the payment in a leap. I was flying looking down at London. I intended to meet up with other dreamers, I could feel then see Fabrice, he was at a console doing something, looking at a screen.

At this point someone jumped me, a martial artist dreamer and gymnast. I have dreamed with him before. 
I always enjoy our interaction. The sheer exuberance of him delights. he is an inorganic being, but was once human himself. He is great for guiding me to places and events. Time travel is really easy with this being.
At one point he threw me, jumped over me, grabbed my feet and pulled me. I was traveling really fast and nearly lost consciousness. I was in an underground cave yet it was warm and comfortable. There was gentle effulgence there, so it wasn’t totally dark.
A voice started talking to me. A very poetic and profound voice. I would like to explore what it said by writing. I didn’t waste energy, wondering what it was or where it came from. I just listened, I was spellbound.

The voice said “You are a virus, the ultimate virus, an artist of change. You are becoming, accept and allow this power. You are the dreamer of your reality. Nothing that you see has not been created by you.
You are dreaming by default now, you are a fledgling. Intend your reality. Choose what you perceive. Accept, act and flow, in your power.
You humans though are a strange mixture of the finite and infinite, the personal and impersonal, the concrete and the abstract, you would say inorganic and organic.
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This mixture of the abstract and the concrete is an exploitable condition for you. Inner silence has brought you to into the now, a meeting point, here arises awe at the majesty of being. You are suffused in and pervaded by your own nature. The all, has found unique expression in you. Acquiesce to that abstract imperative and use the concrete to express it, whilst you have this form. With intent, dream, to utilize any form or formlessness, you perceive yourself as, in a spirit of acquiescence to being.
We are dreamers of our own reality. There is nothing that we experience that is not created by us. We are expansive, we are unimaginable. When we take responsibility for our creation then, we become able to command it.
Command the energies you perceive around you. Command fear; tell it, ‘’I was not created for you, but you for me. You are my servant. Be alert and available, warn me when it is appropriate, otherwise just be ready.’’

Any powers that you recognise command them similarly. What human-kind call gods and demons are there for your command. You have the power to dream new worlds, exercise and exploit this power and truly enjoy it.
This is your time, celebrate it moment by moment, this is how the moments roll on as your dream, they gather momentum and volition. Intend your dream.
You are dreamers in the now, your experience of silence and exultation is a seed. Let go of all personal concern. Do not care for results, act because you are inspired and your doing is as nothing.
Go beyond all descriptions. Cast out all conceptions and dream. Reside in your heart, a place of rest and passion. Silence and acceptance embrace you. Allow the opening.
See the play of colours on the screen of your imagination, this is your play. Everything is fluid and malleable. If you find resistance, withdraw and find another way. There is a way to all things and you will be shown everything you need, to facilitate you.
Do not worry, obsess or judge yourselves. Relax - the joy you feel is the joy of every cell as it awakens to discovery. Go deep inside find your intents and flourish.’’


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As the voice finished. I set my intent to remember it. I have lost some of the command, poetry and majesty of the voice in my writing, but you get the drift. I saw the dream withdrawing from me.’’

FROM A WHEELCHAIR TO THE STARS

6/20/2014

 
This tale is unbelievable; unbelievable to me who lived it but undeniable and true, so I have found my resolution to tell this extraordinary account of this incident from my life. 
I had complications with TB at the age of 30 so spent many years in a wheel chair, however by the millennium, 15 years later I had progressed to walking on sticks. I was though still in incredible pain and surges of electricity like energy would course down my leg making me scream. I became addicted to painkillers and my curtailed life. 
One night at a party filled with successful witty and charming people that were well disposed towards me I felt so low. It was an ideal party yet I had no energy to take part in it.
I found a room that was empty and turned on the TV. I thought about my wonderful life and how dreadful it had become, where I couldn’t even enjoy an evening with my friends. The pain and my bad humour were unbearable. I reached the lowest point of my life.

After a while I began though to think not of the bad times but of the good years the joy of friends and travel. Particularly I thought of Prem Rawat a man from Haridwar in Uttar Pradesh India whom I had met on my travels who had freely given me a meditation-like practice he called self-knowledge. I remembered how simple yet profound this knowledge was and how good it felt to practice.

It hurt me to think that I had largely stopped it. I knew in that moment that I couldn’t live any longer as I was. I swore to myself that I would practice what I had been shown every day. Although it was not always easy, I did this, and from that day every aspect of my life improved. If there were clouds in my day then I knew that the sun was behind then and the clouds would bring rain to nourish the earth and so me. My cup often half-empty was half-full and filling.
A life with joy and gratitude as its base, blossoms. One day I felt really good and was thinking of starting some gentle exercise. Knowing I couldn’t join a class with my disability, I went to the bookshop to buy a book on tai chi; hoping that in the privacy of my own home I could practice and attain a level that would allow me to train under a teacher later.
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In the bookshop I found a manual on tai chi and then went to explore the other books. I had always been a fan of Carlos Castaneda’s writings about his magical apprenticeship in Mexico. On the shelf I found a book by him, that I hadn’t read, called The Magical Passes subtitled The Practical Wisdom of the Shamans of Ancient Mexico. The book excited me; filled with 
descriptions and pictures of physical exercises it seemed to fill the gap, left by his earlier work. I left with this book and returned the tai chi book to the shelf.
With little energy, in pain and debilitated from my disability it was slow work learning from the book yet it still enticed me and I started to generate a daily practice.

I had a great feeling of energy, optimism and well-being. Practicing these Energy Passes, (www.beingenergy.com) needed a fine sense of balance. I had little balance without my walking sticks. Time and time again I would fall to the floor and have to pick myself up again, yet I continued with it day after day. It was a powerful and re-vitalising process.
I had been practicing daily for 6 months I was falling less, my body was stronger and I was a lot more alert. 
Like every day I meditated eat breakfast and then practiced Energy Passes. By the time I finished I was tingling all over feeling exhilarated.

Sweaty from my exercise I went to the bathroom to shave and bathe. I shaved and before bathing happened to catch my eye in the reflection from a full length mirror. I felt an immediate longing, a deep sense of love and attraction and heightened concentration.

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I tuned into this growing feeling of deep love for myself: In and out of a real yet dream-like state, I slipped. Feeling that something incredible was happening I renewed my attentions. My love and attention drew from the mirror another being, my energy body. For a moment I was horrified. However as the being called by my attention stepped from the mirror I engaged with and became it. I looked at my vacated body staring in the mirror. It was uncomfortable sharing a room with it so I left.

I went into the front room and practiced the Energy Passes I knew. Many more appeared spontaneously and I danced my joy and determination. Never had I felt such power and wonder in my life.I moved with no thought breath by breath soaking up the immediacy of being. A thought came to me after many hours “You have gone mad, do you really think that you have left your body in the bathroom?” With a surge of energy I banished this thought yet after sometime the nagging voice returned and I had to respond by returning to the bathroom. As I walked in I saw my body as I had left it.
My nausea returned and with the nausea fear, panic and religious thoughts of demonic possession. 
A calm loving voice filled me. It told me to calm myself and return to my everyday body as I no longer had the energy to sustain this non-ordinary state of being. Somehow I did return. I was back in my body, I felt drained confused and excited. 
I still did not know the full implications of my experience. Yet it was obvious to me that what we consider reality is only one level of perception: An outer layer dictated by our thoughts.

The next day I visited a neighbour, he offered me a beer which I refused saying with surprise, “I don’t drink alcohol.” He offered me a smoke and I made a similar reply. I was as astounded as him. I realised also that I had walked to his house without my walking sticks.
After my experience I read a lot about this fascinating subject and other similar accounts and got what happened to me in context a little. I was re-vitalised, full of energy which was flowing in a way it hadn’t since childhood. I was optimistic full of appreciation, awe and joy at life.
I was no longer in pain, in fact just the opposite. I had never known it was possible to feel this good. I felt decisive and free. With no need for pain-killing medication I easily stopped using it. My doctor was surprised to see me neither dependant on walking sticks or medication. She said that it was a miracle. 
It has been a long time since I had this magical experience, I have continued with my practices and became a Being Energy teacher. I am deeply grateful for everything and everyone including my own effort that has made it possible.

    Gammadian Freeman

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